You probably have a view in your head of what your life will be like. You finish your study and after that, you get a job. Eventually, you meet your husband for life and later you buy a house with that husband. Years later you get children with that husband and eventually you become a grandparent. Around that time, you retire from your job, and in the end, you will die. You may also have added a certain age category to this. For example: Finish your study at 21-25, find your husband in your 20’s, marry your husband and buy your first house in your late 20’s, get children in your 30's, be a grandparent at around 60, retire in your late 60’s, and die when you are in your 90’s. Recognize yourself in this example? No wonder, most people are living that way, which is completely fine.
At these different age categories you may have got some certain behavior attached to each category; wilder in your younger years, more mature in your 30’s, wise in your late 60’s, etc. When thinking about this, you have this 3rd person view of you how people see you both in the future and right now. This 3rd person view of you is the way you want people to see you right now, it can have a big impact on your behavior. Let’s take this example to make it clear: you are working on a group project with a group of people 3 years younger than you. Almost instantly you behave a lot more mature than you normally do. You do this while viewing in your head how these younger people will see you. Behaving this way is not the way you normally do, which you know, but it is the way you behave so they will view you as a more mature person because you are older (which is what you want!). These thoughts of how people will view you can rule your whole life
Attached to your age and behavior you may have added some important values to your 3rd person view, let’s say knowledge. You are trying to live the most knowledgeable way so you can fit in your 3rd person view of yourself. There are certain topics you know a lot about and you like to talk about these with others. Everything you say about that topic is said with the thought of how people will view you (knowledgeable). The topics you do not know a lot about are the ones you like to skip by changing the topic or not saying anything, again, to fit in your 3rd personal view of yourself. You know that you can learn from others by participating in a conversation about these topics, but it clashes with the way you want people to see you, which is more important to you, so you change the topic.
Limiting yourself
Do you recognize yourself in this? No wonder. The thing is, constantly living the way that fits your 3rd person view can limit you to achieve great experiences. Behaving the way that fits your 3rd personal view instead of the way you want will clash with yourself at some time because that is not you. Not getting into a conversation about a topic you know little about to fit in your 3rd person view limits you on so many things; you will not get any more knowledge about that topic, you are missing the chance of getting a good conversation, maybe that topic will be your new passion without actually knowing it! Why would you limit yourself in life? Let’s say it quite directly to you: your 3rd personal view of yourself is not the same as how people are viewing you. You should not be bothered about this and just live the way you want to. Sure, you still cannot surpass the speed limit without getting a fine, but you can still do so much more things your own way instead of living the way that fits your 3rd personal view. You are such a unique soul on this planet with so many great opportunities, do not limit yourself! Do things out of your comfort zone, you will always miss your chances for great experiences by skipping it, do not do that to yourself. That way you will live a much more fun and happier life :)
